💡The Lie About Success

Jim Wall | The Other Side

A warning from a businessman showed me what happens when you get success wrong.

Massive disappointment is one of our greatest teachers.

Has this ever happened to you?

Where an idea you had about something or someone got demolished, and you couldn’t unlearn what you just realized.

When I was graduating college I had one goal: become an important, jet-setting consultant.

I dreamt of flying business class around the country looking sharp and making savvy presentations.

I’d land big promotions and reward myself with adventures abroad.

I had a “consultant” title, sitting in Row 3 of my flight, and was ordering a gin and tonic.

Everything matched the idea I had about what success looks like.

Success was:

• An important title

• Being busy flying to big clients

• Talking about my investments

• Planning 2 vacations per year

While I peeked around at my “peers” in business class, I noticed a man across the aisle.

He was in his mid-50 and wore a nice business suit.

“Awesome”, I thought, “this guy is probably a big deal.”

Looking for an excuse to chat, I asked him what he was drinking. Gin and tonic, just like me.

Validation.

I was basically only 5-9 promotions away from being just like this guy!

He was an Executive Vice President of Finance at a multinational company. After several days of meetings in Shanghai, he was heading back home to catch some time with his family before his busy week coming up.

Here it was, the formula for success right next to me. He was in demand everywhere! I had to ask him how he got to where he was.

-How long have you been doing this type of work?

He looked up for a moment, likely counting the years (and flights) that had passed.

-My whole career, about 30 years now.

He could feel the admiration from my curiosity. Despite the jet lag setting in, he was quite animated answering all my questions. I probably looked like the kid I really was, over-excited about my first time sitting in row 3.

-Wow 30 years, that’s amazing! What made you love this work so much?

My innocent mind simply assumed that anyone devoted to something for decades had to really enjoy it.

He paused for a moment, his shoulders dropped, and the energy of the room instantly deflated. Then he looked at me with a sobering look.

-Honestly, I’m not sure I ever loved what I do, I often don’t even like it.

Oh shit.

I couldn’t believe his brutal honesty. He admitted that to me and himself at the same time.

But how could he not like it?

Why would he do it for so long if he didn’t?

How many people out there in the world are like him?

I had so many questions.

All the conventional wisdom I heard up to that point was ruined:

• The further you get up the ladder, the happier you’ll be

• Take care of your family financially and you’ll feel fulfilled

• Become successful and then you will have more fun

What good is a title, business class, or a comfortable salary if I don’t love what I’m doing?

What good is it being in demand if you have to squeeze family time in between obligations?

As if the Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come had just visited me, I saw the cost of pursuing the narrow version of success I had.

That moment taught me that success without fulfillment was actually failure.

I didn’t quit my job immediately, I planned out my new path like it was a great adventure.

Over the next 6 years I transitioned from consulting, to working remotely at a startup, and then to launching my own business. I felt successful and fulfilled during every step of the way because I was going the direction I chose for myself.

There’s nothing worse than going in the wrong direction for the sake of achievement, just because we’re afraid of the unknown.

That leads to waking up years from now, the kids have moved out, and 90% of the time you will have with them passed.

It’s living a small life and feeling like a failure even if we hit all our realistic goals.

Or feeling bored, uninspired, and ignoring it by drinking or other mindless distractions.

Adventure is not the reward for success. Success comes from making our life an adventure.

It’s taking calculated risks, choosing your own path, and trusting your gut.

It’s loving the path you're on even if it’s tough and uncertain at times.

And if people don’t think your ideas are crazy, then you’re thinking too small, because most people think small. Nothing wrong with that, but if you’re reading this, you’re not looking to play small.

When we see our life as an adventure, even the challenges become part of our epic story. We strive for big, “unrealistic” goals because we know we’ll have to grow first in order to achieve them.

Most of all, we live it to the fullest and we have no regrets at the end other than wishing we had really started living sooner.

If you read this and I don’t sound crazy for what I’m suggesting, then you’re either already thinking big or I just haven’t challenged you enough!

To bring more adventure into your own life, simply answer this:

1. What big idea has been on your mind that you need to finally act on?

2. What are the consequences if you never give it a shot 5-10 years from now?

3. What are 3 ways this could positively impact the lives of my loved ones?

You must believe in the possibility, then have a strong enough “why” to pursue something in order to succeed. Do that first, and the “how” comes much easier.

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Recommended book

One of my favorite books on this topic is “Success is For You” by David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D. Quote from page 73: “Money is in fact a substitute for the satisfaction that truly successful people get out of every job or operation that has gone well for them”

Complementary Call

If you’re craving an adventure in your own life, be it related to health, career, or relationships, I’m offering complementary calls. I guarantee we’ll have you clear on your next steps. Grab a slot here.

That’s all for now my friend. I’ll be sending you weekly stories that show what's possible when we look at our life as a great adventure.

Next week’s issue will include a story about how my dad and I created a deeper bond, at ages 34 and 83, than we ever had before in our lives.

Talk to you again soon.

Jim Wall